you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
