she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
