he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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