I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
