hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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