She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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