I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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