It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
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