we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
