Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
