I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
