It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize