Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize