Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
