Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
