You work out of a Hotel?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
