My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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