Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
