I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize