And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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