I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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