I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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