can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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