6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
