Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i think i have herpe
just one?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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