Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
