i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
