There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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