we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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