We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
