Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
