No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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