just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize