if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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