I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Welp...herpes.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
