I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
