bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
