dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
