Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
