The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
As shirtless as possible
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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