You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
