Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize