If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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