I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
