It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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