So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize