I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
