just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
