I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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