i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
