So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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