we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
