i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
