He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
40s are totally the cure
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
