Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
