so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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