Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
