The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
