I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize