i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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