so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
