I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
