they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
