new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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