Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
