Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
