I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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